Thursday, July 16, 2009

Sometimes Being a Bitch is Such a Bummer........

Last night every single one of my children caused me to be the "bitchy mom". I'm not going to bore you with specifics, but here is the breakdown:

  1. Joseph was being snotty and rude. Since speaking to me respectfully has been a problem all summer, I was forced to put him in his place (and his room for the rest of the night). Result: a lot of huffing about and cold shouldering.

  2. Rachael did something very disappointing and was not going to tell me unless I found out about it. Which I did. I was forced to have a long talk with her about doing the right thing whether anyone knows about it or not and about abusing my trust. Result: A great deal of anger and pouting at the resulting punishment (which included going to HER room for the night).

  3. Daniel was getting way too big for his britches and when aggravated by his younger brother, used physical force to solve the problem (which has been strictly forbidden), resulting in crying 9 yr. old. I was forced to reinforce my position on "using our words, not our hands" to work things out, put HIM in his place, and remove his cell phone from his possession for one day, as well as send him to bed immediately. Result: Stomping up the stairs, a lot of grumbling.

  4. Aaron was whiny and demanding all evening. I was forced to say "no" to about a million unreasonable requests, tend to the nose which got smashed in the above-mentioned incident with his brother, and put him to bed immediately with a good dealing of sniffling. Result: 9 yr. old who was unable to go to sleep for hours, who interrupted my sleep multiple times in the night, and was still clingy this morning.

By 11:00 last night everyone was in their rooms, lights out, quiet, all of them probably cursing me in the dark. I was in my room, moaning on the phone to Steven about how much I hated having to be a bitch to EVERYONE in the house.

I KNOW I was right. I KNOW it needed to be done in every case.

Sometimes, though, I just hate being the bad guy. (sigh)



Sayre said...

I think it is the Mommy's Lot. I'm the one who has to discipline and correct in my house. My husband likes being my son's FRIEND much more than being his dad. Which makes me the bad guy a lot.

On the upside, he trusts that I will do the right thing as much as possible and will take care of whatever comes up. When he wakes scared in the night, it's me he calls. And he tells me he loves me every day. He understands that I do what I need to - even if he doesn't always like it.

Still - it would be fun to be the fun parent sometimes.

Fleur de Lisa said...

It's a bitch being a bitch, isn't it? But I agree that it's so necessary sometimes. Ugh.

Sushiboy said...

Ugh. Well you're doing the right thing. Kids have plenty of friends. Kids really need parents.

Hang in there.

karisma said...

I don't think you were being a bitch at all. I think you were just being a mum. My heart was breaking for poor Aaron though. I really hate it when the kids hit each other. Especially if it ends in one being hurt.

I had a day like that this week too! I dealt with it in a very mature way I did! I chucked a tanty and screamed at them! This is so out of character for me that the shock brought them all back down to earth. I then had 24 hours of perfect children! Oh my!

Jay said...

You would never be bitchy to me. Cause I'm a good boy. ;-)

Hoosier Girl said...

Sayre - Oh, baby, don't even get me started on being the "fun" parent. It's times like those that I would like to kick my ex in the ass - hard. He has gotten off scott-free for 7 years. I spend my money on necessities - he spends his on fun stuff. Oooooh...sorry, I can feel myself getting really fired up. I'll stop now.

Lisa - I just hate it when it seems like EVERYONE is mad at me at the same time.

Sushi - I know, I know. You just wait - your time is coming. Teenagers can be really hostile sometimes.

Karisma - Aaron kinda got what was coming to him - he was standing at the bathroom door, pushing on it, yelling at Daniel. Daniel pushed back, hard. Hence: the smashed nose.

Jay - Oh yes I would. When I found your playboys under your bed!


karisma said...

Oh I hear you baby! Zak always pushes Gameboys buttons to the limit too! Always ends in tears! BOYS!!!! Mind you today Gameboy has come home with a crooked nose! He hit heads with another kid and came out worse!!!

Brother Dave said...

Children, as we know, always try their limits. And, as my Mother always said, "behave like children,"

When we sent our kids to their room we told them "you can come out of your room when you have done some thinking and are ready to explain/discuss what got you there and what would have been a better way to have handled your behavior."

The kids pretty much know what is the correct thing to say. They just need to figure out how they are going to verbalize it.

The more time in their room, the less punishment it becomes. They find something else to do because they are stuck there. When the "time in the room" prevents them from doing what they had been planning to do immediately, the punishment means more.

When the kids are ready to talk about it, everyone (including Mom and/or Dad) are calmer, and meaningful dialog can occur. The kids get a chance to verbalize positive thoughts and cannot spend their time sulking.

Anyway, it seemed to work for us.

Nonetheless, they are basically good kids who demonstrate the usual behaviors of children.

BTW, I enjoy my advanced age because there is less peer pressure.

Sushiboy said...

"your time is coming"

Yes, yes it is.... hopefully I will be able to 'hang in there' too.

Poppy said...

I do not envy you your required discipline duties.

If the cats are bad I can choose to ignore their minor infraction and give them hugs and kisses instead.

Palm Springs Savant said...

its not easy being a good parent. Down the rtoad, it will pay off in spades, when your kids grow up to be well-adjusted God-fearing citizens who will always do the right thing and make you proud.

e.Craig Crawford said...

Where did you get such awful kids? .. just kidding.

You're the "bad guy" because you love 'em. And some day they will thank you.

J. said...

Oh I am soooo with you on this! *sigh*
If only we didn't have to pull out the heavy artillery! But as other said, it's out lot in life. :) Needless to say, I can't stand it either. I'm a much better 'happy mom' LOL...

Faiqa said...

Bad guy? No, you were just being a great mom.