C-R-A-Z-Y

Life is so crazy. Yesterday I was feeling upbeat and productive. Today I feel like I'm going to pop. When I told Steven on the phone tonight that I felt like I was "going to explode", he said I was sounding "a little crazy" and thought I was "going to go postal" on him.

Who knows? Maybe I am crazy. I can not wait to get out of school. Being there makes me feel like a caged animal. I miss Steven beyond reason. It's been over two weeks since I've seen him. What can I say? I miss my boyfriend. I need some hugs and kisses. I need to talk to him face-to-face. I told him even if we were fighting in person it would be better than trying to have a decent conversation over the phone. Does that make me crazy?

Then I go to pick up Joseph from a friend's house and something was not right. I don't know what exactly, I just know something wasn't right. I am almost always right about these things. Sometimes I get the whole story, sometimes I don't. But I have learned to trust my intuition. So, I ask him a few questions and I get WAY too much answer. Suspiciously detailed. So now he's mad at me too. Then my mom calls and he drags HER into it, and now even my own mother is acting like I'm crazy.

I need a vacation. I need to get away from ALL of these people. I need to spend time with Steven without any children or any phone calls or any responsibility. I never get away. I am never alone.

I

Am

Going

Crazy.


J.

By the way, see below for a really great post about all the terrific things I got done yesterday that I thought was awesome but only one person (Steven) commented on. One! Where are you people?