Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Holiday Blues....



That is the question of the hour, folks: Have you been naughty or nice? Are you a Scrooge or a Grinch?


I'm not a Scrooge. I believe in celebrating Christmas. I buy the tree, put up the lights, send the cards. I participate in all kinds of Christmas festivities and encourage my kids to do so. I spend generously on others.

But I have been a Grinch, lately.
I haven't been enjoying the holiday season like I should. It sometimes feels like a chore. I'm so busy and so tired. And I'm a little down in the dumps.




What do you do, as an intelligent, rational adult, when someone says or does something that hurts your feelings, even though you know they have a right to say or do what they're doing, and although you wish they acted or felt differently, you aren't going to try to change them? You just don't like it, whatever it is. And as hard as you try to talk your self logically out of being oversensitive and childish, you're still hurt.

I have been wishing for a magical Christmas. For words to be said, for feelings to be felt, for miracles to happen. I wish for it every year, for this to be the best Christmas. And it isn't going to happen. At least not this year. Maybe never. And I feel let down. Sad.

I did get some Christmas shopping done this weekend. I can't for the life of me lay my hands on one of those Nintendo Wii's for Daniel. He is piling all of his Christmas from me, his dad, and his grandparents just to get it, and I seem to be one step behind every shipment. If anyone out there sees one, BUY IT! You will have your money back in 24 hours!

Another thing that got me down yesterday is ,that apparently I will be orchestrating my present from the kids to me again. Just once could I be surprised? Really amazingly surprised?! Not cheap candles and sweaters surprised, either. (Sigh)

Okay, I'm done being a Scrooge. It's not all that bad. I saw my two oldest perform tonight in the Providence Singers. They both sang and danced fantastically. I was so proud of both of them. I only have 5 days of school and then I have 2 weeks off. I got the lights on the tree and we have started putting the ornaments on. I love a lit Christmas tree at night.

I promise to be much more upbeat the next post. Have a great week, all.
J.


Let it snow!!!

9 comments:

FindingHeart said...

I hear ya sister. The past many years, 'the' presents exchanged with the wife were rarely a surprise. Sure, there'd be a couple of small things in the stocking, but not 'the' gift we would exchange. Now, I'll miss even that.

I'm just finding it hard to be in 'the spirit'. Apparently, I'm finding it 'easy' to put crap in 'quotes' though. Ha! We both know the spirit is around us and we just have to look for it in new or different ways.

Have a great week!

Anonymous said...

I'm always on the naughty list, every year!

Hang in there J, the magic will come, probably when you least expect it.

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HoosierGirl5 said...

I shouldn't be allowed to blog when I'm in one of those moods. It's almost embarassing to wake up the next morning and read all the wah-wah-wah that comes out of me at times!
I need to just buck up and get with it!
J.

Anonymous said...

We gave up buying surprise gifts for my mother years ago, she hates anything she hasn't asked for. This year I'm under orders to track down a copy of Creedence Clearwater Revival's greatest hits and 'Stuck in the middle with you' by Steelers Wheel. I might have to buy the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack for the latter.

Anonymous said...

You're not the only one who feels that way, believe me. Every year, it seems to be a little less exciting and fun for me.

Oh well...

My brother and I learned years ago not to even try and guess for our mother. We get her gift certificates and let her pick out what she wants. Of course, she still complains about how much we spend.

Such is life.

sunShine said...

I don't look forward to the gifts anymore. I just try to enjoy the season and see things through my kids eyes. That is where the true magic of Christmas is.

Anonymous said...

But why wish for a happy or anything Christmas. I mean, it's just a federal holiday. It's so over-commercialized right now that it means absolutely nothing but how much your credit card is going to accrue anyway... so technically you should feel more like Scrooge than the Grinch, right?

I don't care about Christmas at all. I don't think we should have to wait for one particular day to be nice to people. I try to be nice all year around.

Presents? They've come to be expected, and I really don't like that.