Monday, March 16, 2009

Enough is enough! Men, stand back!


Okay, I have to say it. I have tried and tried to avoid writing this post, but after today it has to be said:


I HATE MY PERIOD!

It's messy.


It's gross.



It's stupid.


It's uncomfortable.


It's inconvenient.


It's really stupid.


In my opinion, when a woman has reached a certain age, if she is done having children, then she should be EXEMPT from "that time of the month" for the rest of her life. And yes, I know there is this thing called menopause, but I'm too young for menopause. My mother didn't go through menopause until she was well into her 50's! I'm in my 40's. What about the time between "done with having kids" and "too old to care"??? Huh? Huh? What now? What about ME??

And don't forget the hormones. And the PMS. And the cramps. And the zits. And the "crying for no reason at all". And biting people's heads off for no reason at all. And having to carry a variety of supplies with you and sneak them in your purse to the bathroom. And the incontrollable need for chocolate.

It's just too much, I tell you.

I want EXEMPTION!!!!!

Okay, I'm done. For now. And if you value your fingers and your private parts, you'll back away slowly and stay WAY BACK until this is over. I should be human again by Friday. Have a nice week.

J.

PS. I would think real careful about leaving any snide "typical woman" comments here. You know who you are. You have been warned.

15 comments:

trkndude299 said...

Is it the end of the first quarter, or is the end of first period?
This is such a typical post. Period.
I was going to typically use an exclamation point, but I thought the end of the sentence would look better in a period.
Is it dot dot dot, dash dash, dot dot dot, or should I say period period period, - - , period period period?
I think it's time for my periodical now.
I'm done typing - period.
SMILE

trkndude299 said...

.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

trkndude299 said...

Oops - that was supposed to be a puzzle.
period.

Brother Dave said...

At least there is chocolate!

Trukindog said...

I thought I was SPOTTING some hints in that first little paragraph that something was wrong.

Then as your rant began FLOWING HEAVILY I realized that your monthly beast had possessed you.

I will now run away~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=footprints heh heh.

HoosierGirl5 said...

T-dude - You'll get yours, mister. You just wait.

Brother Dave - But I gave up chocolate for Lent!!!!

Trukindog - You are SO LUCKY you live far, far away! Consider yourself smacked, smartass!

J.

Sayre said...

I think Jesus would understand...

This is why my doc put me back on BCP. Things have been much easier since then. Perhaps you should check it out?

e.Craig Crawford said...

Thanks for sharing. I would have rather seen a "short bus" joke.

Blondefabulous said...

Um... would you be mad if I said I was already going through peri-menopause at 36? Mine is being predicted to quit by the time I'm 40.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Sayre - I sure hope Jesus understands, 'cause if He doesn't, I'm in a mess of trouble! What's BCP?

E.Craig - WHAT? No potshots from Ohio?! I was expecting the worst from you!

And you will NEVER see a "short bus" joke on this blog.

Blondefabulous - Oh, you are just asking for me and Metalmom to drive down there and rough you up, aren't you? (laugh) Some people have ALL the luck!!

J.

Just Dave said...

1. Everyone knows that you are far from typical.
2. It's all Eve's fault; get pissed at her.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Just Dave - That is, bar none, the absolute BEST comment I have gotten in a long, long time.

I DO blame Eve. Her and that damn snake.

J.

metalmom said...

I haven't seen a thing since October but the hormone rages are still there! I just LOL'd at the guys above!

But I'll still rough anybody up with you! That's how I roll!

Tookie Tail said...

I guess I was one of the lucky ones. Or is that not so lucky? I had a hyst at the age of 30 so you know what that means. lol And I was past the big M before 50 hit. So it's all downhill now. I don't envy you one bit.

Palm Springs Savant said...

yeah that pretty much sucks.You women deserve an extra something for putting up with that nonsense every month.