Saturday, January 19, 2008

Too Good To Pass Up........

In the news:
A teacher in Italy was suspended because she moonlighted as a porn star. Anna Ciriani, who calls herself "Madameweb" in hard-core Internet videos and at erotic shows, was deemed "not compatible with educational activity."

The Top 16 Signs Your Teacher Is a Porn Star:


16. She starts class every single day by whipping off her glasses, shaking her hair out of a bun, and bursting the top button on her blouse.


15. Naughty, disruptive students have to stay after and clap chalkboard erasers -- on her bare ass.


14. She refers to your final exam as "the money shot."


13. Kids no longer have to make textbook covers out of brown paper bags. The publisher does it for them.


12. Your dad suddenly starts attending parent-teacher conferences.


11. During story time, the bunny always dies.


10. The entire school orchestra consists of 30 guitars with wah-wah pedals.


9. Her assistant, Miss Phluffer, is always handing her a fresh pointer.


8. Assigned reading list includes "A Sale of Two Titties" and "A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream."


7. Her social studies lesson on Triangular Trade involves real rum and molasses, and has been downloaded over 6 million times on YouTube.


6. *No one* falls asleep during her audio-visual presentations.


5. "Walk up to the board and solve for y. Nobody? How about 2+2. No? Can ANYBODY walk up to the board?"


4. "Today's economics lesson will focus on principle of Opportunity Cost as applied to the charges incurred by pool cleaners, gardeners and pizza delivery boys."


3. Standing room only at her cafeteria table on "corn dog and kielbasa day."


2. He smirks derisively at the output of the volcano you made for your science project.


and the Number 1 Sign Your Teacher Is a Porn Star...


The good news: She shows up wearing nothing but a see-through teddy and carrying a Kama Sutra book. The bad news: You're home-schooled.




Thank God I teach elementary school!

Which one was YOUR favorite?


J.

13 comments:

Brother Dave said...

How about the "Top 16 signs that your Porn Star is a Teacher?"

All sixteen are good, but #16 is a show stopper.

"She starts class every single day by whipping off her glasses, shaking her hair out of a bun, and bursting the top button on her blouse."

Jay said...

"She starts class every single day by whipping off her glasses, shaking her hair out of a bun, and bursting the top button on her blouse."

My 7th grade English teacher used to do that all the time. Along with putting her feet up on her desk letting her skirt slide ALL THE WAY up!

She was great! LOL ;-)

HoosierGirl5 said...

Brother Dave and Jay - I'm going to try that sometime. I wonder if kids ages 5-8 will even notice.

J.

coffeypot said...

They'll notice. I just wish I had teachers like that in school. I would have paid more attention in class. But it is hard to write on a desk that is wobbling back and forth over your lap.

Brother Dave said...

coffeypot - "But it is hard to write on a desk that is wobbling back and forth over your lap?"

Only in your fantasies, d00d.

Jay - I won't even ask where you went to school. ;-)

Fleur de Lisa said...

OMG- home schooled! LOL

e.Craig Crawford said...

Standing room only at her cafeteria table on "corn dog and kielbasa day."

That's my fav.

Canadian flake said...

okkkkkkkk this will make me stop complaining about the PITA teacher gremlin #2 has...roflmao.

Thanks for the giggles...lol

Sayre said...

#12

BTW - I got bounced back when I tried to email you. Can you email me at SayreSmiles@yahoo.com?

A Little Revolution said...

I so had a crush on my 7th grade English Teacher...but I don't think she was a porn star. But, apparently some of the SPED teachers in my state think they are based on how many of them have been fired for hooking up with teen boys.

RWA said...

Damn.

Where were teachers like this when I was in school?

Palm Springs Savant said...

that is funny. I liked the corn dog and kielbasa day one. LOL

Just Dave said...

I liked the corn dog/kielbasa one also. Just shows you what is foremost in the minds of American men.