The Top 16 Predicted Scandals of 2008 :
16. Teenager Jamie Lynn Spears becomes a grandmother when her daughter is born pregnant.
15. The Bush administration somehow destroys all record of the past seven years.
14. Global warning finally hits home when Joan Rivers' face melts on the red carpet at the Emmy awards.
13. Dozens of Olympians hospitalized after kissing lead-coated medals.
12. Al Gore wins yet another coveted prize when he dominates the Coney Island hot-dog eating contest.
11. President Bush pulls the U.S. Olympic team from Beijing, demanding, "Mr. Chinese fella, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!"
1o. J.K. Rowlings reveals that her next book will be about gay wizard Dumbledorf's younger, pre-wizard days as a prominent and openly homophobic, conservative U.S. Senator with a predilection for cruising busy airport men's rooms for anonymous sex.
9. Ignored by the media for several weeks, Paris Hilton explodes.
8. Bill Clinton fails in his primary campaign when he nails Mrs. Kucinich and Mrs. Thompson, but only gets to third base with Mrs. Obama.
7. Simultaneously revealed: Liza Minnelli's longevity secret *and* her addiction to formaldehyde.
6. The impact of the television writers' strike becomes very real when ABC announces its new reality show, "I've Got Your Nose."
5. After citing an obscure and arcane Constitutional law, Dick Cheney unhinges his jaw and eats Nancy Pelosi.
4. A typo in New York City's health code results in a city-wide ban of tranny fatties from restaurants.
3. During a debate, Mike Huckabee accidentally casts the moderator into the fiery pits of Hell.
2. Angelina Jolie saves two more children from third-world conditions by adopting Britney Spears' kids.
and the Number 1 Predicted Scandal of 2008...
Hillary Clinton fails a steroid test -- and forgetfully pees into the cup standing up.
AND, then there's this thought:
If you can stay married to Bill Clinton, is there anything you can't do? On the other hand, if you're willing to stay married to Bill Clinton, is there anything you *won't* do?
I thought you all would like that one.
Have a great Monday.