Sunday, June 10, 2007

What's Age Got To Do With It?

Let me just start this by saying that I have always been attracted to men who are older than I am. I always knew if I married again, it would be to an older man and in fact my second marriage was to a man 15 years my senior. (Our age difference was not a factor in our divorce.) Although I have dated men close to my age and even slightly younger than I am, there is just something about men with gray in their hair and a twinkle in their eye.

So, with that in mind, I have a small announcement: I have had 2 dates with a very nice man named Sam. He is smart and funny and plays the saxophone in a jazz band part-time. He is also 60. He has a full head of gray hair and is incredibly handsome. You might say I'm a little bit "smitten".

Our first date almost didn't happen. He wasn't sure he should call me because he didn't think I was interested in someone "his age". He actually asked a mutual aquaintance to ask me if it was okay. I was honestly surprised to find out he was interested in me. I mean, I have 4 kids that keep me busy. Most men over 50 (who are we kidding? most men, period) want someone who can give all her time to him. I told our friend "yes" and the very next night he called and asked me to dinner.

He is like no one I've ever dated. He is unfailingly polite. He opens doors for me and pays for everything. On our second date he brought me a daisy, because he said daisies mean friendship and he's so glad we're friends. He listens to every word I say, gives great advice, and pays an amazing amount of attention to me when we're together.

After our first date, I didn't think he wanted to go out again, and I'll tell you why: he didn't kiss me. I am sorry to say that I am used to men who don't have a problem with sex on the first date, so I didn't know what to do with a man who walked me to my front door, kissed my cheek, and said goodnight. He told me later that he almost laughed out loud, I looked so puzzled. I figured, sadly, that I didn't excite him, that he didn't like me "that" way. Luckily, I was wrong. He called the very next evening and asked me out again.

Our second date he took me to The Jazz Factory to hear some of his friends play. They weren't shy at all and teased him greatly about being out with a "younger woman". They were great fun - I laughed all night. The poor man blushed half the evening at all the sex jokes his friends made. What a crew! It just added to my admiration for him - his friends obviously think a lot of him, and care about his heart! I think - no, I know - I was up for approval with those guys, and I was glad I "passed". Afterwards, we went down by the river to watch the boats and talk. And I got my kiss. (smile) More than one, actually. I was proven wrong - there was plenty of excitement in those kisses. But as always, he was a perfect gentleman.

Our next date is planned for this coming weekend, when my 2 younger kids will be gone to their dad's and hopefully my 2 older kids will be out with friends. I have already started cleaning like mad, so I can invite him in. One thing I have decided, though - I am not cleaning the bedroom. I don't think we're likely to go there for awhile (I'm flattering myself - what if he doesn't want to go there at all?). And if I leave it the disaster area that it is, I won't be tempted to open that door, so to speak. I'll be too embarrassed! (ha, ha)

I am a little afraid of dating him, though. What if we fall in love? What if we "get serious"? I mean, he's closer to my mother's age than mine. He has grandchildren older than my kids! Granted, he is a fantastic father and grandfather, and has met my children before. I don't know what he is looking for in terms of a future. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

For now, I am enjoying the company, the old-fashioned romantic in him, and the smile he has brought to my face. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the jazz!


Brother Dave said...

First of all, J, it appears that this guy isn't rushing anything. That gives you time to get to know him in an easy, non-hurried way.

Eventually your children will get to meet him. You will get to see how he interacts with the kids. I do not believe that a man can love children that are not his own. At least not like those that are his. Some men, however, do care exceptionally well for the children of the person whom they love.

This is all very exciting, and I think we will be hearing more and more good things about this new relationship.

e.Craig said...

Well, here's to older men, J.  While there are no guarantees, there are usually benefits to dating an older man.

1. Older men are polite.
2. Older men listen and interact.
3. Older men don't rush things.  They let "nature" take its course.
4. Older men are better in bed.  (couch, floor or table, too)
     a) they last longer, and come back for seconds quicker
     b) they are interested in where your G-spot is located (more than one is fine)
     c) they are likely to be at least somewhat kinky  (you might find that quite exciting)
     d) they are more likely to assist you with your sexual fantasies  (maybe you're kinky, too)

I hope this helps. ;-)

HoosierGirl5 said...

How appropriate that 2 of my favorite long-distance "older" men are the first to weigh in on this topic:

Dave - Actually, he has met my children, just not under these circumstances. He goes to my church, and we have known each other in a casual way for years. We just started crossing paths more frequently since this spring. I have seen him with his own grandchildren and he is very good with them. I'm not really worried about him and the kids. In fact, when I told the kids I was going out, Rachael said, "You're going out with Mr. S.? Cool!".
And yes, it is exciting. He's a sweetheart.

Craig - Congratulations! You have actually succeeded in making me blush! I already knew about #4 - particularly "A" and "B". (Remember I was married to an older man). "C" and "D" were what made me blush. No comment there. And you are right on #'s 1, 2, and 3 as well.


RWA said...

I have always believed age was a psychological/mental thing. It's all about how old you feel/think you are and how old you feel/think someone else is.

Fleur de Lisa said...

I say forget about the age thing. If he's a good man, the let the relationship go where it will. A good man is hard enough to find, at any age ;-)

Jay said...

Who cares how old he is. Age is just a number. People worry too much about arbitrary things like age, weight, height and a bunch of other things. None of that stuff matters if they are nice people and you enjoy their company.

/I'm gonna go find me a 21 year old. LOL ... kidding. hahaa

captain corky said...

Enjoy him for now. Don't get to far ahead of yourself, and have fun.

HoosierGirl5 said...

RWA - Psychologically/mentally we seem to be on the same wave length. Which means I'm really mature, or he's really immature...I'm not sure which. (grin)

Lisa - So true, so true.

Jay - You're right. Age is just a number, but part of what I like about him is he's older than I am.

Corky - I thought I said I was trying to NOT to rush into the bedroom! (wink)


Sayre said...

I'm a sucker for gray hair and twinkly eyes myself. And yes, my husband is an older man. Thank goodness!

HoosierGirl5 said...

Sayre - I'm a sucker for gray hair too. And there's something about the way an older man's filled with such passion. I can't wait to get to know him better in that department! (wink)


Lynn-Ashton and John's mom said...

Good for you!! You go girl!! ;)

HoosierGirl5 said...

Lyn-ashton and John's mom-
Thanks! It's been interesting so far!

sunShine said...

I am happy for you! Just enjoy it and see where it leads.