Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Are you a cucumber or a banana?

What is with the sex-related "news" articles lately? While getting my hotmail earlier today, I noticed an "unusual posting" section. All of the following were on the msnbc NEWS website. I thought news was supposed to be politics and health and weather and war and current events. How are these articles supposed to help me?

This article caught my eye. The article states:

Singapore’s Society for Men’s Health and a pharmaceutical firm are proposing a four-point scale for erectile dysfunction, allowing men to rate their own hardness with four categories: cucumber, unpeeled banana, peeled banana and tofu (bean curd).“Men should aim for this,” U.K. sex therapist Victoria Lehmann told a news conference, holding a cucumber.

Tofu? Come on! What poor guy is going to admit he's tofu? I could go on and on here, about former husbands and boyfriends and where they might fall on this scale, but I'm going to show some restraint......(smirk)


Then there was this article. I'll bet sales of this drink skyrocket in men over 40! It really gave this guy a "boost"! I can't believe he was complaining.


Here's a real "ouch". This guy had the wrong side removed. Poor guy.


All so informative and educational. Truly.


In other news, is Nicole Ritchie pregnant? God, I hope not. And not because she's "super skinny". Because she's nuts! She is about as responsible as Paris Hilton. This "news" article shares with us that we can buy Hilton's orange jail jumpsuit on E-bay. Just what I need. Can we imagine either one of them being a mother? Yikes! By the way, I hope Paris's stay in jail is completely miserable. Maybe, just maybe, she'll learn a lesson.
On the home front, all is well here. Joseph showed some real initiative on the "no job" front by going out today with a friend and getting 11 NEW job applications, and returning 3 before dinner. Please, Lord, let this kid get a job. I was very proud of him this evening - he and 2 friends sang "The National Anthem" at the regional baseball game at his high school tonight. They did a very good job. Rachael is taking driver's education. I let her drive with me last night and she scared me to death. She is intimidated by oncoming traffic, so she hugs the side of the road. Watch out, parked cars! (LOL) Daniel isn't doing much this week, but he HAS been working on his room, which is much needed. He got 2 new "Wii" games for his birthday, so I have to encourage him to come out of his room for air (ha, ha). Aaron is still enjoying swimming lessons and tomorrow starts his first session with his reading tutor. He needs a little extra help and I know he will work better for someone else than for Mom. Besides, this young teacher is innovative and fun, so I know he will enjoy it.
That's all for now.
J.

15 comments:

Brother Dave said...

J, I agree. There are some people who shouldn't breed. Perhaps some good genes are to be found in Paris Hilton and her ilk. Paris is no intellectual, and most likely because she does not exercise her cerebral neurons.

Paris did say something impressive the other day. By going to jail and not fighting her sentence she hopes to gain some perspective about responsibility. In this she states that perhaps she can, in this way, be a role model for young people. This tells me that she wants to achieve that stauts, and that she does not yet believe that she is a role model. Perhaps this all will be a somewhat maturing experience for Paris.

Such people seem to truly have no sense of purpose in their lives. They contribute nothing of actual value. Paris may realize that she stands among this "sub-culture" in society.

On another note, you are terrifically blessed with wonderful, normal children. It seems that you enjoy them, and that is so special.

Lisa said...

You have got to be kidding with that tofu stuff! Crazy! I just don't want to hear about that on the news. I also don't want to hear about Paris or Nicole. That's not news. The media is so desperate it's sad!

The kids sound like they're keeping you busy.

Jay said...

I'm a little disturb by the hardness ratings.

David said...

I'm suspicious of the whole Boost thing. It reeks of conspiracy.

RWA said...

Good grief...I thought I was always coming up with crazy "news" stories!

Good work with the 11 job applications. Surely one of those will work out for him!`

Betty said...

I doubt that Paris learned anything in her three-day stay in jail. She's confined to her 4,000 sq. ft. house, though. She and 300 of her closest friends.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Dave - Normal? (laughing hysterically) Oh yeah, of course they're normal. They get that from me. (smirk)

Lisa - Keeping me busy? Always, but it's more fun when I'm free to do it.

Jay - Yes, honey, we all knew you were disturbed. (giggle) You didn't answer the question though....

David - But how many men will buy "just in case"?

RWA - Yes, please, Lord, get this boy out of the house and into some money.

Betty - Paris is out? Already? When did I miss that one?

J.

Dazd said...

Was the "just one case" or just in case"? heh

GMTA

e.Craig said...

If you're a busy Mom, it's good to be a proud Mom, too. :-)

HoosierGirl5 said...

Dazd - With men, who knows? Some guys will do anything to get it up and keep it up....
I'm just sayin'.

Craig- I'm both busy and proud.

J.

e.Craig said...

After due consideration, and in answer to the question posed in the title of this post, I have decided that I'm an eye bolt. ;-)

HoosierGirl5 said...

Wow. If an eye bolt is what I think it is, I'm very impressed. And somewhat in awe.

Are you available next weekend? (wink)

J.

e.Craig said...

Sorry, J. I'll be home all weekend polishing my brass. ;-)

HoosierGirl5 said...

All the good men are taken! (sigh)

Can't blame a girl for trying!

J.

FindingHeart said...

Congrats on the growing hits! I'd say more, but I'm on my way to the store to get some Boost. ;)