It made me think about what I do for comfort, especially lately since things have ended with Baron. Everyone says to me, "At least you have your kids." They're right, to some degree. I would have gone crazy if I had been home alone with my thoughts the last two weeks. I was grateful for the "busy-ness" of family life to keep me occupied and productive. And I am always thankful for their love and concern for me. Sensing that I was sad over the recent changes, all of them have offered verbal comfort or plentiful hugs to try to "perk me up". Their sweetness and kindness always makes me smile.
But I try not to rely on my kids for emotional support. I am, after all, their mom, not their buddy. I want them to know that I am human, fallible and - COUGH- (occasionally) moody,but I am still the parent here. I have turned to friends, both at school and at church, for advice and support in moving through yet another transition. And, I have my comfort objects.
Here's the short list:
- my fluffy blue robe
- my bedroom
- Diet Coke
- any Rascal Flatts song
- reading to Aaron
- my morning coffee
- my lemon candles
These are the things I turn to when things are blue. These things make me feel good, make me feel like me. Notice that dating is not on that list. I'm not ready for that. Out of respect for myself and the relationship that just ended, I am taking some time to sort things through and heal. As a very wise friend told me tonight, it just takes time.
Okay. I'll let you know when time is up. Until then, I'm hanging in there.