Tuesday, June 20, 2006

An "un-anniversary".....

June is wedding month. It's traditional, just like white dresses and flowers.
Today would have been my 19th wedding anniversary, had I stayed married to my first husband. We got married here in southern Indiana, at my home parish, at 2:00 on a Saturday. We had bridesmaids, groomsmen, a flower girl and a ring boy. We took pictures before and after. We had carefully-chosen music, and one of our best friends from college led the group that played it. Another one of our friends sang a solo. Afterwards, we had a limosine to take us to the reception. I remember fussing at my new husband to stop talking so much to all our guests and dance with me. I remember my grandmother coming out to talk to us right in the middle of the solo dance. I remember one of my 1st cousins getting sloshing drunk and trying to take his clothes off. Later that year my cousin Michelle (his sister) got married and the joke was that their mom had GLUED his clothes on! I remember my maid of honor putting together some food for us to eat in the limo because we hadn't had a bite the whole time! We had a limo take us home to change clothes (my mom was having my dressed cleaned and sealed) and then to the Seelbach Hotel in Louisville for our wedding night. We had so many out-of-town college friends staying at a nearby, cheaper hotel that we ended up having a party in the honeymoon suite! The next day we left on a vacation to Florida - my first time on an airplane without my parents! We spent too much money and he got horribly sunburnt on the last day. When we flew home, he looked like a lobster!

Things were so different then. I was teaching. He was working. We hoped to have a family someday, but it took 3 years and 2 miscarriages before our oldest son arrived. Very quickly after we had our daughter, and then our middle son. Suddenly 8 years had passed and we had 3 children.

It is so weird for me to think back to those days. 19 years is a long time, and the clock stopped ticking on THIS anniversary 5 years ago. I so much wanted to be married my whole adult life. I NEVER wanted to be single, especially a single mom.

So many good things have come from being divorced. I am more of a person. I have laughed and loved more in the last 4 years than in all my life before.

It's just so strange to see June 20 on the calendar. This used to be an important day. It's funny - I DID get flowers today. But not because of my anniversary. But it WAS for love.

When I was in college, we used to have an "un-birthday" celebration. It was for everyone whose birthday it wasn't that day. We had cake, decorations, and a party!

So, happy UN-anniversary to me, and to all of you!


eatmisery said...

Out of curiousity, what did you teach? I'm an English teacher; that's why I ask.

sunShine said...

I always think about my unanniversary every year too. This past year would have been 11 years for me! That seems like such a long time.