Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Brief Update....

Many of you have commented or sent me e-mails lately about "what's up".
I don't really want to offer a full-fledged explanation at this time, for several reasons.

But the situation between Baron and I has changed. We are not together. We had lunch together last Friday and had a rather intense discussion, followed by a rather sad conversation Saturday morning. I thought, after that conversation, that we were "over". Then we spoke Sunday night.

I don't know what we are. We are not talking at this time. I know I still love him, and I do intensely miss him, but......there may be some obstacles that we can not overcome. He needs time and independence. I need security and reassurance. I don't know if those needs can mesh. Both of us have our pride. (sigh) I understand his position, but I get so scared. We both have our weaknesses, and ironically, both are related in different ways to security. He is a good man.

It is hard. He is in my thoughts so frequently. One minute I think I did the right thing, the next minute I miss him so intensely I can't breathe. We were so comfortable together. Everything reminds me of him.

And so, for now, I am living my life, day to day. Working, spending time with my kids, housework, life. Trying just to breathe in and out. On my own again, where I have been too many times before.

I know I am being cryptic, but I hesitate to be more specific, mainly because his ex-wife and/or her fiance read this blog from time to time and frankly, it's none of their damn business.

Please pray, as I have every night, that whatever path Baron and I are to take, either separately or together, will reveal itself to us in due time.

Thanks so much for your concern. I'm hanging in there.
J.

11 comments:

Fleur de Lisa said...

No matter what, I know everything will work out for you. If you need a listening ear, drop me an email. :)

eatmisery said...

You are a strong woman. Whatever the future holds for you, you will be made stronger by it.

Hang tough.

eatmisery said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jay said...

Hopefully Baron will realize how much he's screwing up and come to his senses.

FindingHeart said...

I try so hard not to guess God's plan for me on this earth. I'd crap out at every guess. I pray for faith in that things for out eventually if I let Him do the driving. I pray for stability in your life and for happiness to surround you and your family.

Tense Teacher said...

As you said in a recent post, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. I know that's small comfort now, but you've been through, and survived and prospered in spite of, much worse. Hang in there.

RWA said...

I am confident that whatever happens will be for the best - for both of you.

J. said...

I'm sorry to hear that chicklet.
Sometimes, it's for the best though, however hard it may be.
*hugs*

sunShine said...

I know that things will work out for the best. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You are a strong woman and you will get through this.

HoosierGirl5 said...

Thanks, guys. It's been a long week. I appreciate all your comments and e-mails. I'll let you know if there's anything to tell. Otherwise, I'm just keeping busy. If only I could turn my brain off at night...that's when it really gets to me....all the thinking!
J.

Sayre said...

Nights can be hard. Having kids actually helps with this loneliness though. Something to focus on rather than yourself.

Things will work out. One way or another - they always do. Try not to fret too much about it.

You have lots of people in your corner - count me in that number!