Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I Really Want to Know What You Think.......
My boyfriend and I have had some rather intense discussions as of late, and I think I have learned a lot about him, and about myself.
(you knew there had to be a "but" after that last sentence, didn't you?)
We disagree on a couple of points. That's cool, we don't have to agree on everything.
But there is one item, which he says I am THE FIRST WOMAN in his whole life to ever bring up, that I think it is a given and he says is not.
So here's where you, my dear readers, come into the picture. I want to know what you think. I am particularly interested in the male point of view, although I am also interested in the women, since I would like to know if I am alone in this philosophy or if other women think like I do.
I am the first to admit that I am not a success in mature, healthy relationships. I married my first husband at age 22, and we did not have a mature relationship. I took him for granted, he cheated on me, and we were so busy having kids that we didn't relate very well to each other at all. I married my second husband on the rebound, and we had nothing in common. I have dated a handful of men since the first divorce, and Baron is the first long-term relationship since my 2nd husband. So MAYBE I don't know what I'm talking about. Or maybe I do.
Here's the issue: I think for a relationship to be a good one, a healthy one, it has to continue to grow and change. It takes work. You have to put yourself into it, and you have to be able to adapt and bend and compromise and stretch. You need to know where you're going, or at least where you want to go. And it shouldn't be a "have to". It should be a "want to". Baron says that no woman he has ever loved has ever said the relationship had to keep changing, that it's okay to just "be" and love and cherish the time together, with no future goal or purpose in mind.
What do you think? Please, let me know, and invite your blogging friends to stop by and leave an opinion. I want a really large sample of opinions here.